Juggling 201
Prayer
Lying on my back, only my nose pokes above the water. Breathe in, my chest rises and my body gently floats; breathe out, and everything falls ever so slightly. My eyes are closed; I am weightless, suspended, motionless.
Breathe in; hold. Listen.
There it is. Ba-bum ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum.
For years I could not hear my own heart, could not feel its rhythm except during times of distress, when its rapid undecipherable fluttering demanded that I take heed and pay attention. Until I learned to practice this meditation at the end of my laps, to stop and teach myself how to hear the center of my very being, my heart was a panicking stranger to me. Now I hear, and I whisper in time: Lord, thank you for the water. Thank you for my breath; Your breath. Thank you for the beating of my heart. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
It is under the water that I hear my heart most clearly, that I feel delight in the utter contingency of being. I cannot make my own heart beat! Even if I hold my breath, my own body eventually disagrees with my will. My heart and my breath are not mine to will — they are each a gift of being, every moment. Respire, inspire! The breath is inseparable from the force which moves the world. Pneuma is spirit, and pneuma is also lungs breathing perfectly composed atmosphere.
I am under the water, but I also am the water. Most of me, most of you, is chemically this simple solvent, this miraculous molecule that moves together with its mates in waves across the world. The water always calls us. Go to water, our hearts say, and if we have decided to follow Christ, we go with Him to the very waters of the Jordan, wash, and find there a living spring.
Water. Breath. Heart.
They cannot be separated.
If it is the sacraments that feed our souls, prayer is how our souls breathe. To breathe rightly is to pray without ceasing, to pray with the steady beat of the heart, which holds the fountain of the Spirit.
Cultivating a life of prayer is the single most important step in learning to juggle the life of a homeschooling family. There is no better way to stay in the soil of humility, to keep from marching an education under the direction of soulless pride.
As Charlotte Mason says, education is “an atmosphere, a discipline, a life.” Through a discipline of prayer, we invite an atmosphere of prayer, leading our family in a life of prayer. This is the rock solid foundation on which to build a home education; or any education, for that matter.
I encourage you to speak with a spiritual director who can help you discern an appropriate rule of prayer. Because of the nature of family life, a prayer rule can look very different in different seasons, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. When I have adjusted my prayer rule and need to keep track of my faithfulness, I mark off the days on a simple habit tracker, which I’ve attached below in case you’d like to use it, too.
I can also tell you that I have been greatly encouraged by the Akathist to the Mother of God, Nurturer of Children, and by a variety of Orthodox prayer books and the Psalter.