Leaving Space
A juggling post
We took a walk today.
It wasn’t part of the plan. I had to force back the automatic “No” that is my knee-jerk response to the unceasing (and often unreasonable) requests that bombard me from sunrise to sunset.
More often than not I stick with my initial negative response because saying yes would involve too much trouble of one kind or another — mostly trouble for me, not anyone else.
When I have too much planned, too long of a list to get through, saying yes often adds more to what already needs doing. I don’t have the time or the energy to add anything because there’s already too much there — I’m not likely to even finish what’s on the list, let alone make room for more!
But when there’s less to be done, when my list is short, I find myself with both the time and the energy to be hospitable, to open my arms and my heart to welcome spontaneous requests.
Leaving space allows room for encounter and relationship. It frees me to be present in a way that is not possible when I’m preoccupied with trying to get it all done.
Space in my plans feels counter-intuitive — the instinct is to cram all the things into as little time as possible so that I can be Finished, so I can look back on the day and say, “I really got something done.” — but more and more I’m faced with the fact that finishing is so much less important than being present.
It sounds lovely.
It is lovely.
But can I do it? Do I have it in me to resist the temptation that is always demanding that I Get Things Done?
As always there has to be balance. It would never do to drop all responsibilities for the sake of waiting around to say yes as much as possible. People need to be fed and clothed regularly, among other things! But if I can learn to prioritize better and protect space in our days instead of trying to fill them to the brim, I have hope that habits of connection and engagement in the present will have room to flourish rather than being difficult to cultivate.