Letter to a Disillusioned Homeschool Mom
Dear Disillusioned Homeschooling Mom,
I’m sorry to hear that homeschooling is not exactly what you thought it would be.
You were led to believe that since you’d embraced the Right Philosophy and had chosen the Right Curricula and had waited until the Right Time your children would take to reading like ducks to water and would be geniuses at math.
That they would revel in creative projects and imaginary play.
That they would write poetry and sing folk songs and quote Shakespeare.
That they would have beautiful handwriting and keep exquisite nature journals and be able to identify all the local flora and fauna.
You had visions of candlelit poetry teas and nature walks and checked off boxes and completed assignments.
Instead you find yourself surrounded by bad attitudes, reluctant scholars and more potty humor than you can stand.
Those same children who were supposed to be avid readers cry over every phonics lesson. The math geniuses can’t remember the most basic addition facts, and you are inundated a hundred times a day with complaints of, “I’m bored!” and, “There’s nothing to do!”
And to top it all off someone, somewhere, gave you the impression that the only reason your family isn’t the picture perfect vision of homeschooling is because you haven’t read enough educational philosophy, and what you have read has not been properly understood and applied by you. In other words, it’s all your fault.
I wish I could invite you over for a cup of tea and a long chat. I would do my best to encourage you. To remind you that we are not guaranteed outcomes no matter how perfectly we understand and apply philosophy, or rules, or systems.
I would try to help you see that it’s not bad to have high ideals or a vision, and that we need goals toward which to strive, but that we must keep those things in their proper places as subordinate to our ultimate goal of living the life in Christ.
I would tell you to remember the reasons you’ve chosen to homeschool, and keep those in the forefront of your thoughts.
I would tell you to stop and look at your children and take time to really see them for the amazing persons they are. They may not be the children you imagined they would be, but they are so much more wonderful than you could have ever dreamed!
I would point out that learning to love like Christ is more important than being able to do math like Archimedes, and that if we focus on that first, there’s plenty of time to develop budding genius as well as mitigate unintentional damage.
I would remind you that our challenges are part of the journey of sanctification, and that the way we deal with our own frustrations is the stuff of which the Ultimate Lessons we want to teach are made.
I would give you a hug and say that I’m sorry it has been difficult, but that difficulties are not the same as defeat, and that even the best laid plans can benefit from readjustments here and there.
Most of all, I would listen without blame or judgment, reminding you that the pursuit of perfection is only undertaken by the imperfect, and while you have weaknesses, you also have strengths, as we all do.
May you be encouraged and relieved, dear one, and may God give you the strength and the will to continue to fight the good fight as you perform the incredible task of raising saints, which has been given to you.
Love,
Your fellow homeschooling mom.