Mid-Lent Reflections
Meditations from Lisa and Laura, Lent 2024
Lisa: We’re halfway through Lent.
When it began I had visions of being unplugged and having all this extra time at my disposal for prayer and contemplation. I imagined leaning into our studies and adding some extra spiritual reading to our days. I had every intention of carefully planning our menus so that we could be as close to the complete fast as possible.
As usual the reality is different than the vision. Sure, I’m less plugged in than before, but not so unplugged as I intended to be. Yes, we’re going to church much more and we’re fasting, but the attitudes and execution are far from perfect. We’re staying consistent with school, but there hasn’t been room for anything extra. All the time I expected to have for writing and walking and reading is being eaten up by errands and extra tasks and obligations that weren’t part of my plans.
But somehow it’s fitting that things should be this way. After all, what is fasting if not learning to give up what I want – what I planned and envisioned – in order to meet the demands of the reality I have been given? The Elevation of the Cross reminds me that it’s really not about me at all, but about Him. He took up His cross for our salvation and if I want to follow Him I must take up mine, in whatever form it may take.
I can still make my plans, and if God wills I will be able to accomplish them, but I hold them loosely – searching out His will in each moment; because His plans are always better than mine anyway.
Laura: Every year is different. Last year, we made almost every Lenten service. This year, we all got sick right after the first Sunday, and have been behind the eight ball ever since with lingering coughs and low energy.
Back when we were new at homeschooling, I would have pushed us through the misery; we would Do School even if we felt lousy, and we wouldn’t miss a service unless we were contagious.
I’ve learned a lot since then! For one, no one learns well when they are ill. It’s far better to rest for a few days and return with some semblance of vigor rather than to pretend that the half-baked attention we pay when we’re sick sticks in the memory or translates into learning. Taking on too much too soon often only prolongs the season of illness, so that in the long run, things are harder than they need to be. And pushing through to attend more and more services just leads to burn out, especially for small children. Far better to pace ourselves, so that we’re actually preparing ourselves during this fast, preparing our hearts for Holy Week.
Another important lesson I’ve learned is that homeschooling moms need sick days, too. It’s easy to overlook that teaching our children full-time is a job. What happens when a professional teacher gets a sore throat or a bad cold? They call for a sub and take a sick day. There are days I’ve been too sick or too tired to teach long division, let alone algebra, or sentence diagramming, or chemistry or whatever. I’ve tried anyway, and you know how that went! Fiery plane crash with weeping and gnashing of teeth. This is only a slight exaggeration.
So, yes, we need sick days, and we especially need the discernment on when to use them.
Enough sick talk! What have we actually done for Lent this year? Well, we made it to services the first week, and since then, we’ve been making sure to say the Prayer of St. Ephraim together as a family (we say “brothers and sisters” in our house prayer, in order to bring the focus around to forgiving the actual people in the room!), we’ve been fasting to the best of our abilities, and we’ve been reading aloud passages from Living Without Hypocrisy, which is a book of sayings from the Optina Elders. We’ve been to confession as a family, and now that we’re feeling better, we’re hoping to make services this week.
For myself, I am forgoing most internet activity. Instead of worrying about the world, I have made the commitment to pray for peace whenever I get the urge to check headlines or read articles. For spiritual reading, I am continuing a slow read of Sergei Bulgakov’s Bride of the Lamb.
It’s easy to get caught up in planning for Lent, in essence making the whole thing one big homeschool unit study, or one big spiritual “project” to complete. The years have taught me that this isn’t necessary. It is enough to simply live Lent in the Church, and prayerfully accept reality as it is.
May the rest of your Lenten season be blessed and may we all use the remaining time of the fast wisely and well.